Whenever I think about cynical people, I invariably reflect about Hydra. In Greek mythology, there is a reference of multi-headed water serpent Hydra, awfully venomous and sanctified with the command of regeneration. It is capable of resurfacing two new heads for each that is guillotined…Even a cynic has similar propensity to continuously be selectively attentive to only negative qualities of people. When you argue with logic to hold down, he relapses fervently with stronger disparaging condemnation.
How can someone bear the burden of so much of toxin in mind and heart?
George Carlin very perceptively illustrated a cynic by saying, “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
Often I wonder why is it unavoidable for most of us to resist from commenting on a person or an event or a thought. What entices us to craft such unsolicited and uninvited expressions? Moreover, why are our comments diagnostic, acerbic, and encumbered with negative emotions? At times, I think that everyone of us is altogether affianced in cynicism as a normal way of communication. At various platforms when I interact with people on diverse topics, it is uncommon to listen to some appreciative assertions. As if, we are naturally nursing negatively burdened personalities all over. Why it is so difficult to defy such extremism in our day to day life?
It is ironical that Cynicism which was originally ignited as a philosophical movement in Greek by Antisthenes in the fifth century BC, largely advocating virtue of life and discarding all conventional practices (religion, social practices, and materialistic aspirations), is today, transited to be defined as a mind-set of distrust in the genuineness of an individual’s motives and action.
Let’s first reflect on why are we often so contemptuous?
To certain limits Cynicism is natural and healthy but what happens when it becomes your second nature. What happens when this becomes your normal style of connecting with people? I am sure you have met people who talk negative or sarcastically all the time. At times, I wonder how torturous it would be for the people around them. Imagine you are starting a day with an acidic comment and finally going to bed listening about some complain on a flimsy issue. Such people talk from the chair of judgement. Operate with self righteous attitude and strongly believe that everything should happen in certain pattern. They have unsolicited advice for everyone that too without humility. Their normal sentence starts with “Should have… Could have…Would have”. For such people, an event or a situation becomes secondary. They end up missing out on merriment and eventually ruin a happy occasion. Such bitter behavior alienates others but as a result also cuts off the person from surroundings.
Do you know your cynical behavior has a lot to do with your unconscious mind? Psychoanalyst Freud believed that our mind has three distinct awareness levels: The Subconscious, the Conscious, and the Unconscious. He further propagated that many dominant thoughts and feelings are suppressed in our unconscious mind and have considerable influence on our normal manifested behavior. In Freudian psychoanalytic theory, whenever we are faced with anxieties or offensive impulses, our unconscious mind manipulates, denies or distorts the realities to defend against such uncomfortable feelings. He called it as an Ego Defence Mechanism. In our normal healthy life we all use different ego defence mechanisms to cope-up with the environmental realities.
Projection is one such defense mechanism in which an individual unconsciously ascribes his own unacceptable qualities or feelings to other objects or people. Displacement of such unwanted feelings further embroiders, if such attributes already exist in a modest magnitude in the other person. For instance, if you abhor someone, you might as well believe that he or she does not like you. However, same projection further multiplies if you have a slight insinuation of his disliking for you. This happens at times, in groups where everyone presupposes that they are equally equipped with the same idea and information, which may not be reality. Cynicism has lot to do with projection mechanism of mind.
While, many believe that cynicism is reflection of our defence mechanism, there are also other views that it has lot to do with our early childhood experiences and socialization process. I am sure, if you will Google on this topic, you will find many justifications. However, it has something to do with our own negative emotions perceived in others. Furthermore, such emotions also have ballooning consequences. A cynical notion about one’s action has enormous potential to stretch into a generalised predisposition for everything regarding that individual. You may spot everything erroneous in that person.
Does this reflect vulnerability or Insecurities?
Self mirroring is the first step…
Sadly, many people do not recognise that their cynical behaviour is contagious and spreads incredulity. Unless we realise that we are hyper cynical, it is very difficult to address this predicament. It is also very hard for that person to acknowledge the truth. Most of the time, we are not even sensitive to our own conduct. I do not think you will concur with your family or friends, if they are cautiously expressing it to you. The person has to first appreciate that he is negatively predisposed most of the time. He has to first realise that he is only seeing mistakes in people without noticing positives. He has to agree that it is not healthy. Everyone has something good to admire. Why one should suffer over the perceived limitations of surroundings. It is not worth. You need to restrain manifestation of cynical thoughts. You cannot be a highly evolved person overnight, but just a realisation that you want to be a different person is first step towards this journey.
Consciously search positivity…
It does not mean that we stop experiencing our emotions. It is important for us to own up our emotions and take complete responsibility of our action. Moreover, I also do not advocate that cynicism is illogical. It is all about shoring up to discriminate between experiencing emotions and projecting our opinions. It is good to internally question your thoughts and cynicism. We have to consciously search for positivity in others. Life is nothing but the choices we make and we have all the time options open to be positive. Learn to respect human dignity. Change your perspective. Be objective in evaluating your surroundings but be conscious in paying more attention to the positive things around you. Besides, you need to consciously get attracted towards positive people. Reading inspirational biographies of eminent personalities will also help you evolve as an individual. Kabir, the mystic poet and saint has explained it so well, “Kabira sangat saadhu ki, Jyu gandhi ki baas. Jo kachchu gandhi denahi, tau bhi baas suvaas” (the alliance of saints is like the company of a perfume seller. Even if you do not obtain any perfume from him; still you get delicate scent in his company). Likewise, any positive influence will surely have significant potential to bring about best side of your inner self.The beauty is , you have it within you.
You will witness what you want to notice…
Finally everything simmers down to our perception and our interpretations. A cynical mind is prejudiced to evaluate only limitations without making an allowance for bona fide perspective. It has tunnelling effect on us. Let’s first appreciate that life is not an easy walk. You will have hardship and challenges all around you and same is true for everyone. We all are different and are in a way right in the way we think and react. Accept this as reality. Once you are at peace with yourself, you will be transformed to a different mental platform. The best way to fight cynicism is by wilfully enlightening compassionate attitude towards self and others. Compassion has the power to turn cynicism to a positive window. The best part is compassion brings in you a deep sense of empathy and respect for humanity.
Trust me it is quite possible. Introspect and question your cynical tendencies. You can relate to world without being cynical. The answer is within you. People and circumstances should not influence your reactions. Taking liberty to quote Bruce Barton, American congressman and author of many bestselling books, “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstances.”
This blog is not as much on cynics as on the human strength to endure, introspect, and transform. We infrequently appreciate that we are blessed to have such a magnificent planet around us. It is we all who create the humanity we live in. Just stop and look around. Everything is so aligned and beautiful. How can we remain cynical and ostracized from our surroundings?
Is it not high time to renew our relationship with the world…?
Very well analyzed and, more amazingly, helps us understand the limitations and transform ourselves.
I know of a few cynics who are extremely successful in the material world. Very surprisingly, a few of them are wonderful human beings at heart. They are successful, am sure, not for their cynicism but some other stronger virtues. It is only if they had the perspective of how much the others get hurt by their caustic comments.
Need to learn how to appreciate and love the positives of our surrounding world.
Yes, Subroto. thanks for your comments. Most of the time we do not realize it. It plays at unconscious level.
I just wonder if we all behave little more objective and compassionate while dealing with others.
Life is so beautiful.
Yagnik,
It is a very wise article! It seems to me that you are putting your finger on the essential question when stating “To certain limits Cynicism is natural and healthy but what happens when it becomes your second nature.”
While I believe that not everything about today’s technological advancements is great, with respect to your questions these advancements open doors – for all. We can actually connect with like-minded all over the world. This helps tremendously when trying to seek positive feedback and energies.
Dear Gisela, you have summarized it so well.
Your expressions are mirroring your wisdom.
Thanks for your comments.
Cynics – quite often described as people who believe that others are acting out of selfish, self-promoting intentions, are not a bad lot in themselves; Perhaps at a certain level provide a counter-balance to the overly optimistic. Some may even equate Communism to be a form of Cynicism. However, I believe the more inherent – and debilitating factor is Negativism.
Negativists, not only sully the ecosystem(they rave, they rant, they complaint, they do not ever seem happy), they also fail to provide any iota of energy to a system. Somewhat like the dementors from Harry Potter – or even the Nazgul from Tolkien’s creation.
As is true with all human energy systems, negativism feeds on itself – capable of turning a bright intellectual group to a triad of Macbeth’s brooding witches, who continue to languish in the morass of desolation and no-hope.
Yes. It is an embodiment of Hydra. But perhaps it portrays a more potent version, in the form of Medusa. And to combat it all, we need a positive Perseus. Peace !
Yes,Kulbhushan…You are on the spot!
what you’ve written is bothersome. It forces me to investigate what goes on inside. and more often than not pulls out a few stories that are painful to pull out yet cathartic in the end.
Dear Vijayanti, we are so mystical. As you rightly expressed , our covert behaviour is completely unknown to self.
I believe that if we remain objectively natural in our reactions, life will be much more comfortable.
Thanks for your comments.
Very well written blog. Congratulations. Cynicism is a cancer – spreads in a geometric progression. Cynics have been India’s roadblocks.
Dear Dr. Ishwar, thanks for your comments.
Today, we all are witnessing so much of harshness around us that we are almost predisposed to believe in adapting that persona.
Indeed a well written one! Cynicism can be curbed through a thorough introspection. Many are unaware that this negative quality in them is actually adding fuel considerably in their perception and personality.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Indeed a well written one! Cynicism can be curbed through a thorough introspection. Many are unaware that this negative quality in them is actually adding fuel considerably in their perception and personality.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Dear Vidya, I believe that our socialization process is unconsciously shaping all of us to take shelter under negativity.
So unfortunate but true.
Thanks for your comments
I believe that we focus on expands. The good, the bad or the ugly. This well conceptualized article reinforced the same again.
Dear Navleen, you briefed it so nicely.
Thanks for your comments.
Let me Congratulate you first for writing such wise blog. If we really channelised human energy potential for right and positive direction , will really able to transform ourseleves and become more satisfied human beings at EOD . unfortunately High degree of Cynicism leads to faliure only in long run , which one need to understand and do mid correction Asap.
Really good article.
Dear Subhash,
Thanks for your comments.
Finally it comes to have we evoked our higher order needs?
The conscious shift is the only alternative.
I think the overall picture of being working has been changed in past couple of years may be because of technology, smart-work concept etc. which is really good if taken positively and working in a team where as we will have cynical around us as negativism grows faster than positivism. Only thing we can come over it, is by concentrating on our goals and try best to achieve. I believe if we want to keep our-self away from cynical, than keep things more straight and goal oriented. I would also like to thank you Bhagwat for sharing your views and really like this words “positive influence will surely have significant potential to bring about best side of your inner self.The beauty is , you have it within you” which are really inspiring. Thanks!
Congratulations!
Your blog is very well written. Human nature is so complex and difficult to understand, however your grip on the subject clearly reflects. You have brought out great perspective on the subject with so much ease. Thank you for sharing it.
A good effort to unravel and discover human mind, thought patterns, analysis of cynicism.
I believe that human mind is in learning and developing mode throughout life.
The more closer we introspect life and actions the more the opportunities to reflect, improve and develop thought process.
As am still in this beautiful journey of life trying to develop my mind with each new day, your note on Cynicism reestablishes my belief for positivism and an opportunity for all to discover self and an opportunity to take their thoughts and behavior towards Positivism.
Keep writing and connecting people.
Take Care
Regards
Ruby Singh
Dear Ruby,
I have reached to one conclusion that in life we have only two ways in which we can react or respond or connect.
1. Natural
2.Unnatural
If our basic predisposition towards life is “Natural” then life becomes very simple.
The complications are because of our “unnatural” and manipulative episodic responses.
Thanks for your feedback.
Sir, it is a very well-articulated blog. It reminds me of one of the quotes of a book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne-
“Your power is in your thoughts, so stay awake. In other words, remember to remember”
In fact, in the book, Rhonda Byrne shares a remarkable thought which I believe, to an extent, can cure cynicism. She suggests that when you get up in the morning, first thing you should do is, think about people around you, think of their goodness and “thank” them for being there with you. And the goodness will come to you in abundance.
The practice of “Appreciative Inquiry” that I have learnt in my MBA school seems meaningful after reading you blog.
I thank you for connecting and sharing your wisdom with me.
Dear Latika,
Finally everything comes down to one fact: How honest you are with yourself.
The way you have related this blog with “The Secrete” and ” Appreciative Inquiry” is remarkable.
Thanks for your valuable comments.
Hello Sir, Its great to read your blog and it is a self inner enlightening thought. I really appreciate your thinking that you have thrown light to something which is very important. I always use to question myself why we teach a child all those things that he is not suppose to do rather than what he is suppose to do. We should always try to see positiveness in self and others because that is the best way to live life happily. Regards
Pooja
Dear Pooja, you are on spot! conscious positive conditioning will surely help us.
Very well written and comprehensive article. I feel Cynicism is on the rise because on one hand people are becoming very ambitious and on the other hand individual social support system is diminishing. In this scenario every time things go “your” way “I” crib and every time things go “my” way “you” crib, and due to lack of individual support system to fall back on one starts spreading the negativity around.
Once again I must appreciate the holistic view you have presented on the subject.
Dear Ravish,
You have added one potential dimension and that is : our socialization process itself.
Now the question is are we nurturing strong characters in our society?
Very well structured and articulated content, To apply this we actually don’t need change our self only need to change the way of thinking. Don’t look at what others are doing, Only concentrate on your way of working.
Every day we witness such people around us, and you have very well portrayed the reason
and cure for it. I say cure because it’s a illness which people develop subconsciously over
a period of time that they don’t realize it. It becomes so dominant over a period that every
other person notices it except the person himself.
We start hating the person for the kind of behavior he shows. I think rather we should understand his mental state and situations which led to them and support in a manner that he overcomes it eventually.
Someone very well said that i relate to this article ‘A square has 6 sides! When the window is ignored, the view is compromised!’
Thanks Bosky for summarizing it so well.
I like the greek parallels you draw, to illustrate your PoV. You are right about displacement (at times, to a point of transference); I see it in personal and professional situations. In client situations, I have seen quite a few suffer from a classic case of cynicism – if you cant solve/ understand it, criticize it:). A very well written piece!
As it goes “A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern”
What i feel that its an extremely situation state of mind .At times it can prove to be a great help in situation when you are have to decide on something or to judge someone when you are not sure of it.
Seeing today’s scenario of people perspective and way of living i feel we all can afford to be cynical at times
This is my personal observation and definitely not intended to look differ from someone’s.
Mr.Yagnik Very nicely written. It is good to be aware. You can easily get trapped into cynicism..
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