The merit of originality is not novelty; it is sincerity.
-Thomas Carlyle
Life will never be perfect, no matter how hard we try.
Yes,we know it well.
Yet, why we feel so miserable most of the time…!
May be because we all the time want to please someone or everyone...We want to be everything to everyone. We all the time want to meet other people’s expectations.Unfortunately, such expectations unconsciously take on a life of their own.
We are swayed by the channels of possibilities…because this is what everyone is expecting from us.We maneuver hard to get qualified in the eyes of others. We are obsessed to seek approvals. Our search is for acknowledgments. All what we do is for others. Today we are chasing a world which is literally edging-out our true self. Ironically, our so called projected front is full of synthetic content. It is a never ending rat-race of living up to what we think other people expect from us. Such enslavement to other’s endorsement thwarts the full expression of the real self from being out in open. Moreover, our very decision to continuously oblige their expectations reinforces them to force-fit us in their mould. We are not a label on a billboard. So stop trying so much. There are most definitely many out there who do not like YOU or what you DO.
We preferably do not invite dissonance in our lives.We are generally afraid of being disparaged by society.We all the time want to be what others want us to be. In fact, others expectations start governing our actions. In readiness to qualify in other’s perception, we safely submerge our true identity somewhere in dark depths within. We remain masked all the time. We have reached a stage where we are becoming stranger to our own true self. We all the time remain under the stress to successfully meet up to other’s anticipations. We are interminably bothered that others should not form an unfavorable judgment about us.
In actuality, we are the victims of social and cultural conditioning. All our sufferings are because of our constant struggle to be someone…That someone who is far away from what we really are. Each one of us is busy in fabricating a “false self” to shield our “true self”. If you want to enjoy an amazing life you first must unearth who you truly are. The unique person that is “You”, exclusively extraordinary in this gigantic ludicrous world.
Tough? So this is the biggie for all of us. We are nowhere original. We are at the ease in the world of “if only”. Please, summon up yourself. Our sense of self or our identity is not a chattel of what others think about us. We scarcely recognize that we are not indebted to live up to other’s expectations. Period.
Perhaps, the concept of originality has lost its meaning in today’s milieu. Gradually, originality is emerging less about the ability to remain what we are and more about projecting what we should be. In this materialistic society, we are abundantly surrounded by artificiality. Artificiality in environment, emotions, expressions, and relationships. In fact, we are completely disconnected from our own beautiful little real world.
How can we comfortably allow someone else to define our life? How can we let other people’s expectations to design our very being? It is all conditional to our perspective and mental maturity. Imaginably, now we are alarmed to be original in our surroundings. Such thoughts could be frightening or may be liberating.
Remember, you just do not exist. You live.
Do you remember when last you enjoyed your own private time?
Your laughter…your pain. And yes…your tears.
Be enthusiastic to walk alone sometimes. Be free from the encumbrance of meeting expectations. You surely know who you are and what is best for you. Just stop hiding and discover yourself.
Spirituality guides us to be original, whereas materialistic world demands us to be synthetic.
But, I do not want to debate on which path is right!
Yet, I believe in establishing and making our originality acceptable to the world around. Let’s endeavor to transcend to the level where our conduct becomes an example for everyone. Be true. Have the nerve to allow others to see the real you.
Are we helping ourselves to rediscover the true self?
Are we ready to own-up decisions instead of excuses?
Are we comfortable in taking that mystical inward journey?
In essence, Learn to enjoy the objectivity in your behavior and do good to the world. People in your support system might think you’re crazy. Society might giggle at you. But then again, don’t be troubled by what they think. Rather ask, “For whom I am pretending”? Or “Why am I surrendering my identity when I don’t have to”?
Hold on Dear! Why not invest some time sincerely getting to know your true self?
It is time to grow in inner quietness, affection, serenity and gratitude!
Learn to reclaim your true self.
Learn to celebrate your originality.
Will you please stand up for your true self?
It is high time to declare, “This is who I am”.
Your reflections please! Leave a comment below! Feel unreserved to share this blog.*
Dear Sir,
Very inspiring words.. it’s a well accepted reality that people in today’s world strive hard to shape up their personality to the needs put forward by others and hence the results are obvious.. so many case studies of perceived geniuses going wrong when exposed to dynamic environment.. adaptability and flexibility is a terminology commonly used for one’s convenience.
Regards
Thanks Anju. Let me reply you with a quote from Mark Twain “Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.’ Your life is yours only. Others can influence you, but they can’t decide for you. Unless you allow them to do so. So make certain that you set the path and don’t be alarmed to alter the path on the way or pave a new one.
Dear Sir,
This blog is closet to my heart than the others, and hits a very important point, home. You have infact taken up a topic which is hard but needs our attention.
The essence of life of being able to live in simplicity and in “here and now” can only be achieved when we learn to accept ouselves with all our flaws. The rat race takes a toll on each one of us and takes us away from our true identity.
Thus it is imperative our kids and the generations to come, are educated to live happily instead of teaching to live for success as it does not necessarily gurantees happiness.
Thank you once again.
Dear Manjusha, thanks for your encouraging words. I believe, at any given moment, we can take charge of our own life. The life that you Want or Deserve. It is possible for sure. What holds us back from talking charge or redefining our own life? The fear of moving away from predictable pattern of life. Fear of failing in redefining our life motives. We are not sure about what to do and what path to take. The “Knower” within us combats with the “learner” within us. We have made our life very artificial and complicated. Whereas, the answers for our impasse is in minimalism. Just be what you are…if not now may be later…people will start adoring you. I appreciate your feedback.
Very true. Thank you for this very insigtful blog.
Thanks Dear. I just wanted to trigger the inner journey for my readers. It is like inquesting your own soul…searching a purpose.
It is originality of your self, which keeps you rolling. How minutely in few words, you have described it in true sense. Our subconscious mind at times forgets the true inner self and start living in imaginary world. Recognising the strength of yourself and building upon the same is all about success of life. It is tough, it requires lot of commitment, courage and awareness…….but you feel happy when world starts recognising you for got giving up in difficult times, standing against odds with your conviction and ideology and yet keep contributing for the cause and bigger picture.
Dear Abbhay, well said! We need to be authentic in our life, in relationships, at work, with family, and so on. Because when you are authentic, you are inevitably relating from your “true self”—a rock solid foundation. Thanks for your comments.
Dear Bhagwat,
Nicely written. The essence of this blog, in my opinion, is well summed up by you “Spirituality guides us to be original, whereas materialistic world demands us to be synthetic”. We fail to recognize the true purpose of our lives in our pursuit of material goals. A life without purpose becomes dull and drudgery.
Thanks Dr. Thaper for your feedback. We are all the time engaged in the search of some magic potion for our eternal happiness. People who could relate with their true self, their search is over. Our true core is very pure and unattached. But our projected front is full of worldly dust and roughages…a hungry search of a lost paradise.Unfortunately, there is nothing outside…answers are within.
Cant agree with you more 🙂 …wonderful
Thanks Dear for your encouraging words.
Dear Bhagwat
A beautiful insight into the travails of the common man in our country today. I would like to believe that largely we are ourselves to blame on this journey, as gratification of others seems to be the order of the day. It is ingrained in our ethos of albeit a faulty education system, which only delves on a singular and unipolar approach to eduction. In school we are taught there is but one view to a problem, there is but one solution to an equation, there is but one view to an issue etc. It does not allow the learning to take place by taking positions and trying to see if we are able to substantiate the position that we take on a subject matter through reading, inferences and other methods.
Besides the fabric of the family needs to play a very dominant role in our evolution to see us as individuals with distinct set of skills and aptitudes which play a vital role in society. The onus therefore as you rightly put is for us to reclaim ourself but first by exploring and discovering who we really are and what we are capable of and what we can give to society. The moment we realise our ability to give then this paradigm gets changed.
Beautiful subject indeed.
Cheers
Vijay
Extremely meaningful thoughts. I am completely with you. Definitely larger environment is responsible for our life design. Nevertheless, at some point, particularly after the realization, we need to own up our life. The life we lead is not something that has just happened to us. We cannot let it drift through meeting other’s expectations. We cannot be a rudderless vessel on the oceanic circumstances. That too at the clemency of the fast current of multiple transitory expectations. If we work only to please others, we will make our own self very angry over a period of time.
I am extremely impressed with this article of Shri Bhagwat Yagnik, who was my mentor at Baroda (1993 -1996). In the bargain to please others, we keep on bending and loose our originality. We loose our identity too. We as original people have our own strength and weakness. Though we need to be socially acceptable, we need to be ourselves too. If we keep on spending all our life time in pleasing others to receive the approval from others, when can be “OURSELVES” to get approval from within us. If we do not know how to handle ourselves, we get handled by others. Let us emancipate from the clutches of pleasing others. losing our ORIGINALITY. My sincere thanks to Shri B. Yagnik for a lucid writing. A. Srinivasan (9986029520)
So nice of you Shrini to say such lovely words. The fundamental step to Inward Journey embroils attainment of better understanding of self in all indispensable areas that power an individual’s life. This self-knowledge will only facilitate you with a right direction to maximize your efforts at bringing change. Self-knowledge will only help you in becoming more resourceful and focused in internalizing life influencing changes.Thanks for your comments Dear.
Thanks once again for the timing of capturing the thoughts and vibrations of the masses and offering colleage.This is a subject where home,parents,family play a great influence and a balance of Spirituality and materialistic world decides the time to declare with confidence, “This is who I am” .
I wonder on learning fine skills of knowing the fluctuations of the MIND and the feelings that keep changing every moment.
Sometime this journey puts people in a scene- situation of becoming too much self centered and the person moves away from feelings of belonging, connectedness, being cared and gratitude.
Thanks
Retaysh
Dear Ritesh, thanks for your comments. Trust me, anyone who is conscious of his true-self will never be self-centred. In fact, you add up mask of egotistic outlook to your personality only to meet expectations of others. Projection is ego. The core or true-self is very natural and clean. Inward journey liberates you. So be rest assured, if you are what you really are, you will never be self-centred.
This blog beautifully encompasses the harsh reality of today’s life. It is sad that an individual needs to explore his/her inner self to find out who s/he truly is, as the environment around him/her doesn’t seem to recognise the unique attributes s/he possesses and the poor individual is made to follow a defined path based on some pre conceived notions.
I guess it is high time we concentrate on building on our strengths more than feeling bad about our weaknesses. In my view, the rat race is a never ending phenomenon, unless, the society as a whole accepts that skills, knowledge and experience can be garnered, but talent is something that makes an individual truly unique. Once talent comes to the fore and is recognised by people around him, I am sure the individual would have no problem saying, “This is who I am”.
Dear Preetinder, really appreciate your meaningful comments.You have made few very realistic observations.
Bhagwat Saab,
I liked the below lines of blog very much. There is message in it. Thank you for such blog.
In actuality, we are the victims of social and cultural conditioning. All our sufferings are because of our constant struggle to be someone…That someone who is far away from what we really are. Each one of us is busy in fabricating a “false self” to shield our “true self”. If you want to enjoy an amazing life you first must unearth who you truly are. The unique person that is “You”, exclusively extraordinary in this gigantic ludicrous world
Regards,
Prashant
Dear Prashant, thanks for your encouraging words.
Dear Bhagwat Yagnik,
A very nice article, it stirs the inner self. We loose the whole essence of life and its purpose, by trying to be somebody, live on others expectations, so aptly explained by you. Probably the urge comes from human nature, where we feel a die need to be accepted, and to get acceptance we are ready to don any avatars!!!.
We need to come out of this shell of comfort and lead our life!!. This starts with inner understanding that I can be un predictable and can have paradoxes, since I am a living being. Constancy is for dead woods, not for living organisms.
I am very thankful to you for making us think and open up. I have never posted so much, or expressed my views, but for your thought provoking blogs. They depict sincerity, hence I am compelled to share my thoughts, great writing sir.
I am reminded of Mr.Lankesh, contemporary of Girish Karnad, who used to say, do what is Good for body, Good for Mind and Good for soul!!!, I think a perfect way is to live your “wise thoughts” and “vices” if any also!!!. Otherwise, you live somebody’s dream, which probably he himself never lived.
The famous chile writer Pablo Neruda, writes in crude translation, ” Life is nothing but, different sizes, shirts which is tried on you by death, for fitment” ( See the irony, only thing which is certain is death, hence please try to live fully to satisfaction).
It is similar to Johari window i.e when two people talk, it is actually 6 people talking, What I am actually, What I think I am and What other think I am. Hence it is very important, to know who I am and convey same to others.
Thanks, Once agin for excellent article.
Thanks dear Kunte. Very relevant thoughts. Let’s also look at it spiritually. As Sue Monk Kidd said, “Here is where our real self-hood is rooted, in the divine spark or seed, in the image of God imprinted on the human soul. The True Self is not our creation, but God’s. It is the self we are in our depths. It is our capacity for divinity and transcendence”.